Majorca Flats -- 298

Cody didn't reply.

Luigi took Cody's hand in his and squeezed it.

“C'mon. We've got an appointment with the doctor.�?

They didn't speak for the rest of the trip into the city.

The doctor they were going to see was in Brunswick. Luigi had to use the map on his mobile phone to find out how to get there. As he parked the car outside the shabby Victorian house where the surgery was, he received a text message.

Let's get together sometime.

What made his blood run cold was that it was from Cody.

The killer still had Cody's mobile and was using it. Did he think that all Cody's contacts were gay? Was he hoping to find a new victim?

He didn't say anything to Cody. Cody had enough to worry about.

But Cody saw something in his expression.

“What?�? he asked, concerned.

“Nothing. I just felt a bit queasy.�? And in truth, Luigi did feel queasy. His hands were clammy and his armpits soaked; his stomach churned; his heart pounded. He was enraged that a stranger should threaten someone he cared for. And he was terrified. As soon as Cody was out of hearing he would phone the policeman in Macedon and tell him this new development.

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Majorca Flats -- 297

 “You're not queeny!" Cody was fierce. “You're fucking not. You're amazing. You're so strong and resolute and … just fantastic. How can you think you're queeny?"

“See? You're doing it too." answered Luigi quietly, watching the bright blotches of distant jet headlights as they came in to land at the airport. “You think because I'm queeny that I can't be strong and all that stuff. You think that a femme bloke is somehow inferior."

“No I don't, Lou, love. I don't." Cody looked hurt and alarmed and indignant, all at once, and Luigi felt an urge to laugh.

“It doesn't matter, Coads. I was drawn to you from the first because you were so butch and macho and manly. It doesn't matter. But you see, Cody, they don't see me like that. They just don't care about my femme stuff. Keith's a slob. Undies and crisp packets and stuff all over the house. If you just met him on the street or in a café, like, you'd never guess. He comes across as a classic nerdish bloke. He doesn't care how he looks and what he does and stuff. He's just a bloke, as far as he's concerned. And as far as he's concerned I am too. And when he fucks me, he doesn't think, I'm fucking a woman."

“I never did, either, with you. Never." Cody spoke so quietly Luigi could barely hear what he said above the whine of a jet taking off overhead.

“I know, Coads. But you see, they mean a lot to me, Jason and Keith. They helped me heal after … after what happened between us."

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Majorca Flats -- 296

 “It's worse, Coads. With one …. this is so … fuck …. Coads, I …. I fucking went back to him. Got beaten up again. And one day a friend from the gay help line took me to one side and said it was no good for me. I'd kept on making up lies about how I'd got injured.�?

“Why did you go back, Lou?�?

“I worked it out. After I met Keith and Jason. We talked about a lot. In between the sex.�? He looked at Cody as he said this, and took Cody's hand in his. For a moment or two he was silent. “See, I sort of hated myself. Deep down. I thought being gay was wrong. Even my grandma, she loves me and accepts me, but she doesn't really get it. So I looked for ways to punish myself. Not consciously, you understand,�? he said, as Cody looked as if he was going to speak. “Subconsciously. From deep in my past. You know what it's like, the straight guys at school, the way gay stuff is wrong and taboo and despised. And what happened is that I realised what was going on. Keith and Jason as so … I dunno … so manly. So straight-acting. But they are happy to … well fuck me and let me fuck them. They don't even notice I'm queeny. They ….�?

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Majorca Flats -- 295

 “Unlike me."Cody was glum. “I love women. I love Philippa. But … I …. it sounds so fucked up … I need a man in my life."

“You should talk to Keith. He's pretty much bi I think."

“Keith?"

“Yeah. He's Jason's friend. But he's a good bloke."

Cody was quite silent for a minute or two then he looked straight at Luigi. “You fucking him, too?"

Luigi nodded. He smiled suddenly. “It's called friends with benefits. It's not, you know, total out-of-this-world love. But it's good. We watch TV shows together and then spend the night together."

“All three of you?" Cody squeaked.

Luigi smiled. “Yeah."

“But …. But what do you do? And … why?"

“I had a … well, he was a trick. Who paid me. His name was Richard _______, the cellist. In the end I grew to love him. We lived together. He was kind to me. Then for a while I had no one, just tricks I used to pick up." Luigi looked away, swallowed. “They used to beat me up, sometimes."

“Fuck, Lou. You poor bugger." Cody's compassion was genuine, and Luigi all at once remembered why he'd grown to like him so much.

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Majorca Flats -- 294

“But you did." Luigi was curt.

Cody didn't reply.

Luigi glanced at him, and he could see that Cody was weeping silently, staring out of the window, swallowing the sound of his tears.

There was a BP freeway garage just ahead, and Luigi turned into it.

He
pulled over at the far edge of the concrete apron, as far as possible from judgemental sightseers and undid his seatbelt. He put his arms round Cody. He didn't speak, just hugged him. Cody put his head on Luigi's shoulder and sobbed.

After five or six minutes, Cody lifted his head off Luigi's shoulder and gave him a watery smile. “Sorry," he muttered.

Luigi cupped Cody's head with his hand. “I meant it," he said, “I do love you. But … Coads love, you have a wife and a child. And maybe it'll work out." Cody shook his head without speaking. “You never know, love," insisted Luigi. “And what then? Is she going to be happy if you go on seeing me? Are you going to lie to her?" He let go of Cody and stared through the window at a jet taking off from the airport a few kilometres away. “When … I found out about it … I thought of all this. I thought of how I keep on falling for straight men and I keep on having my heart broken. And you know what?"

Cody made a small interrogatory murmur.

“I did it all over again. I went to the park, you know, Carlton Gardens near my flat and I picked up Jason. He was so macho and hot. I called him 'straightboy' and he called me 'gayboy'. But he was kind to me, and gentle."

“Is he straight?"

“No, I don't think so. I think he can do it with a woman. But he's basically gay."

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Majorca Flats -- 293

“In a way. Yeah. But more like a friend. Not like you."

“I fucked up, didn't I?"

“Maybe. I … Coads …. I'm sorry."

“For what?"

“For everything."

Cody waited. The countryside flashed by the speeding car. It was a perfect autumn day.

“It was … with you … it was just …." Luigi struggled to explain.

“Yeah?"

“Look, I've been hurt before by straight guys or bi guys. They say they love me and they act like they do and then suddenly you don't hear from them and you don't see them and there they are with their girlfriends. Wives."

There was a silence, with just the thrum of the car's wheels on the tarmac.

“So … when I saw you with … your wife … it reminded me of … well, other times when I was shafted by straight guys."

“I'm not straight, Lou. Not really."

“You looked it! With your wife!" Luigi relied sharply.

“Yeah. Well. I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

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Episodes 1 to 220 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)