Jason was remembering how Luigi had picked him up. It was the second or third day after he’d
arrived in Australia. He remembered
making love with Luigi, and how vulnerable and fragile Luigi had seemed
afterwards, as they lay in bed. It had
been the first time since Brent had died that he’d made love, and he’d
forgotten how good it felt to bring pleasure and comfort to another and also to
receive pleasure and comfort from another.
He remembered how Luigi had wept after sex and how he’d persuaded the
other man to tell him about how he feared that straight macho-acting men like
Jason would win his heart and then desert him.
Luigi hadn’t told Jason then, but he’d been thinking of Cody when he
talked about how straight or bisexual men weren’t to be trusted. The whole disaster of Luigi’s relationship
with Cody had only emerged later. Jason
remembered how their fragile friendship had strengthened and deepened, until
Luigi had become one of the people in his life who were truly important to
him. Two
of the most important people in my life are in this car, he thought. And another
is on the mountain up ahead terrified for his life. He was so afraid that Luigi would be killed. He’d been angry with the ineptitude and
homophobia of the police, but now that was gone. Instead, his anger and rage had hardened into
ice, a determination that he would do whatever he could to save Luigi, without
letting his anger make him do stupid, ineffective, impulsive actions. He would save Luigi and Cody and he would
deal with the Killer. Even if right now
he had no idea how he was going to do this.
A tale of the people who live in an Edwardian Terrace in Melbourne; their friends and lovers.
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Showing posts with label I loves ya. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I loves ya. Show all posts
Monday, 17 July 2017
Sunday, 14 August 2016
Promises, promises!
I said I was going to post 2 or 3 items a week, and promptly caught a cold which turned as it always does into bronchitis and fever and such like fun. I've been off work and spent most of the last few days in bed. But I am gradually getting better. I feel almost OK again, and only have coughing fits every couple of hours instead of every 5 minutes. I'll post another episode later today.
Thursday, 7 January 2016
566
Keith’s face was unsmiling, but his
eyes were alight. He looked down at her,
then bent down to kiss her nipple. Jason
ran his tongue down her shoulder to her other nipple. Together, each men sucked on her nipples, and
she felt the electric tangles reach down to her groin, to the tips of her legs. Just when it seemed it would be too intense,
Jason moved to her mouth, and kissed her.
This time he was passionate.
Urgent. She felt his desire and in
turn it kindled her own. The tortured,
pain-filled couplings her father had forced her to endure ebbed to a dim
memory, like a film she’d once seen long ago.
Here—now—she was desired, by two different men, one with brown hair and
eyes, the other blue-eyed and blond; one a street kid, the other a millionaire
with a title. Her father was just some
distant evil goblin, vile and perverted and corrosive, like some chemical. But far away.
She was safe. Her heart and her
body opened.
Keith, used to her jeans, undid the button
and the zip and slid his hand inside to feel her pussy. So warm, so firm, so kind. He started to stroke her through her thong,
sending ripples of pleasure through her body.
The two men stopped and looked at each
other. They leaned over her and kissed,
and then just looked deep into each other’s eyes. Without a word, they moved down to the end of
the bed and took off her trainers and her socks. Jason lifted her carefully, his strong body
doing it easily, and Keith pulled her jeans off. On their knees, the two men turned and smiled
at her with a palpable air of “aren’t we clever?” She couldn’t help it: she giggled.
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
565
The orange light from the sodium street
lamps was shining into the room through the gap between the curtains. Jason sat down on Keith’s bed, still holding
Keith’s and Esmé’s hands. He patted the
bed next to himself. Esmé sat down, and
he put his arms round her. Keith lowered
himself to the bed and kissed her on her cheek.
Still they didn’t speak.
Jason began to lift her T-shirt over
her head. As he lifted it, Keith kissed
her on her tummy, each kiss making her shiver with need. Jason pulled the T-shirt over her head, and
then re-arranged her hair which had got mussed.
He kissed her on her lips, while Keith kissed her body, in a line up
from waistband to her breasts. Jason
went on kissing her lips, his mouth warm and flavoured with Cointreau, and
Keith moved round behind her, kissing her shoulders. She could feel his hands, caressing her skin,
and then undoing her bra straps. Keith
lifted the bra off her. Obediently, she
raised her hands so that he could. Now
it was Jason kissing her front. His
mouth brushed against her left breast, his tongue tracing out the shape of her
nipple. Keith moved round from her back
and his mouth found her other nipple.
“Yes,” she breathed, and lay back on
the sheets, with her arms spread.
Tuesday, 29 December 2015
560
![]() |
| Photo by Dan Skinner [link] |
Luigi looked at the clock-radio next
to the bed. It was 4.55. Still dark outside, as dark as it ever got in
this part of the city, with its street lights and the lights on every house
porch, every block of flats’ walkway. He
needed to wee, but it was warm in bed, snugged up against Cody’s body. He yawned sleepily. If he got up now he might get back to sleep
again afterwards. He might even get another
couple of hours’ sleep before the day began. But if he didn’t, he would drift in and out of
a restless sleep. Might as well get it
over with. Carefully, he slipped out
from under the bedclothes and lumbered clumsily, still drugged with sleep, through
to the loo. He was just turning round to
go back to bed when he heard stealthy footsteps on the walkway. Some instinct warned him that something was
amiss. Later he couldn’t have said what it was.
Some primitive part of his brain, the part which in an animal warns that
a predator was watching, the part, perhaps, which makes you look up from your
book when you feel someone’s eyes on you.
The kitchen windows faced onto the
walkway. They were frosted, but the walkway
was well lit. Against the windows a
shadow moved, shifty, subtly feral. For
a moment he paused, thinking. Should he
wake Cody or not? Cody was so tired. He needed his sleep. Let him sleep. Maybe this was nothing. Most probably it was nothing. People came and went from the flats along his
level, at all hours of the night. He
must not let himself get paranoid.
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
543
As soon as breakfast was
over, Jason rang Luigi.
“Lou, hey, do you want to
meet for coffee later?”
“Lemme just check with Cody. I’ll ring you back. He’s at work now. Let’s say at 5.30 at the Café Novio on
Brunswick?”
“Yep. I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Good? I hope.”
“Good and bad. Maybe.”
“You’re going back to
England?” Luigi’s tone betrayed his
dismay.
“Nah. The opposite, actually.”
“So what is it?”
“Heh. You’ll have to wait and see, gayboy. Give you something to think about. See you later, sexy.”
Luigi ended the call a
little perplexed and worried.
He told Cody about the
phone call when Cody got home. “You’re a
bit worried. What is it?” asked Cody.
“Jason wants to meet
us. He says he’s got something to tell
us.”
“D’you think it’ll be
something bad?”
“He says not, but, well … he’s
a friend. I’d miss him if he left.”
Cody felt the familiar
twinges of jealousy and guilt.
Episodes 1 to 500 (without pictures, 20 episodes per chapter)
Labels:
amitié amoureuse,
friends,
friends with benefits,
guilt,
I loves ya,
jealousy
Wednesday, 31 December 2014
532
Cody lay in Luigi’s arms
listening to him breathe. What was true,
he wondered. He’d been unfaithful to his
wife, and he loved her, deeply. Yet he
had sneaked out to pick up men, he had had sex with men. And sex was so intimate. Worse, he had shared his soul with Philippa,
and she with him, and now, maybe they would never meet again. Would he ever see his children? He loved Luigi, but he loved Philippa
too. Luigi had been forgiving and
patient, but he’d seen the occasional flashes of irritation in Luigi’s eyes at
his grief and doubts. Without Luigi he
had nothing. Nothing. But what did he have with Luigi? Did Luigi still love him? What if Luigi stopped loving
him? He had, if nothing else, Luigi’s
friends, yet even there, they were Luigi’s champions not his. Jason had made it plain that if Cody ever
hurt Luigi he would have him to answer too.
But he wouldn’t hurt Luigi. Would
he? What if Philippa said she would have
him back? Would he go back? Could he promise he would never again have
sex—fall in love—with another man? And
if Luigi had fallen out of love with him, what then?
Like Lucasta Ellesmere, he
fell into a disturbed sleep, but his dreams were about running through a forest
in the dark in despair, trying to escape a killer.
Episodes 1 to 500 (without pictures, 20 episodes per chapter)
Saturday, 31 May 2014
519
“Key, Eleanor—this is Graeme, alias
Amantha Masterton and “—he gave Graeme a sly grin— “Endeavour Lambano. Graeme, you know Keith, and Eleanor is my
landlady and friend.”
“Honoured to meet the creator of Lord
Balincourt,” exclaimed Eleanor, and Keith gave Graeme a huge smile and said,
“Awesome!”
“Would you care for a glass of
champagne, Graeme?”
“I’d love some.”
“I put your wine on the sideboard,
Key,” said Jason. “Looks rather nice.”
“I purloined it from The Lord Grey. Tom won’t mind.”
“What do you write under your
Endeavour Lambano pseudonym, Graeme?” asked Eleanor.
Graeme cast a desperate look at Jason,
and said, “Um, I write …”
Jason cut across him. “Scintillating hot gay novels.”
“Romantic, too,” observed Keith.
“So you’re at heart a romantic,
Graeme?” asked Eleanor, placidly.
“Yes, I think so. I believe in love.”
“Me too,” said Eleanor. “And kindness. They’re the most important things.”
“Yes,” said Keith. “Exactly.”
They smiled at each other in perfect understanding.
Saturday, 22 February 2014
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
501
“That was very intense.” Cody’s
head was snuggled into Luigi’s shoulder.
Luigi wondered for a moment that he had become the strong one in their
relationship. Him. An effeminate queen. Cody
was Mr Macho. Mr Muscles. Mr Straight-Acting. By rights it should have been his head snug on Cody’s shoulder, him protected by Cody. Not the other way round. But Dio!
he would protect him. They would find the killer and deal with
him. A thousand years of Calabrian
peasant ancestors showed in his tight mouth and hard eyes.
“What?” asked Cody, startled.
“What what?”
“You tensed up.”
“I was thinking …” his phone rang.
“…hang on a tick.”
It was Colin, the
policeman from Mt Macedon.
Luigi felt
absurdly, shy, as if the other man could see down the phone line and see them
both lying on the sofa in the aftermath of sex, covered with sweat and cum and
lube, arm-in-arm, sated with love-making.
“Oh, hi!”
“I’m on my way into
the city.”
Ridiculously,
Luigi felt that he didn’t want him now.
“Oh, good!” he said with fake enthusiasm.
“Is it a bad
time? I have to do this in my off-time.”
“Oh! No!
This is perfect.”
Wednesday, 27 November 2013
490
As they drove down the freeway into the city, Cody spoke, carefully, in a
tone calculated not to be aggressive or disagreeable. “Lou, love, I dunno how homo I am.”
Luigi sighed to himself. Not this again, he thought. “Yeah, I know,” he said aloud. Don’t I
just!
“How do your mates Jason and Keith cope?” Cody asked, his voice and his
whole demeanour humble.
I don’t want him to be grateful
and humble, thought Luigi. I want him to be confident and strong. Jeez! I’m so mixed up. I liked him better when he was arrogant and
charming. What a tool I am! Always
looking for a man who’ll do me down and desert me in the end! Idiot!
“Why don’t we ask them?” he said out loud, trying not to show his
disparate feelings. “They’re nice
blokes, Coads. They’re not afraid to
talk about stuff. Both of them have been
through very bad things … and it’s made them … I dunno …. Wiser. Kinder. Thing is, Coads love, I’m a homo
through and through. There is no way I
could get it up with a woman.” Cody put his hand on Luigi’s knee and muttered
something. Luigi ploughed on. “But Jace and Key? Well, I think Key is maybe more straight than
gay. He has sex with men because he
likes sex. But also, I think he’s half
in love with Jason. And Jason is still in love with his guy in
England who killed himself …” Cody murmured something, but again Luigi overrode
it. He wanted to say this. “… and I
think he’s more gay than straight but he has had girlfriends, he said. He likes
sex too, but what he wants is … love.
What he had with his guy in England.”
“D’you think he’ll find it? Again,
I mean.”
“I dunno. He’s very fond of me and
Keith. I dunno that it’s love, though. What he had with his cricket player was. It was special.” Luigi was silent for a while, negotiating a
difficult intersection with traffic lights and two tram routes. “Maybe there is just one or two great loves
in your life, Cody. Maybe all the others
are different. Not that you don’t love
them but when you are in love it’s an obsession. Almost like a mania. A madness.
A heavenly madness while it lasts, but definitely not completely sane.”
Monday, 25 November 2013
488
Shaken by his insights, Luigi was silent until they got to their next
destination. Jason isn’t like that, he mused. And Keith
isn’t. They are glad to be what they
are. Glad to be gay. Well, Keith was bi, but that wasn’t because
he was ashamed of being gay. It was
simply because he was attracted, well attracted to Esmé anyway. I mustn’t lose them. Both of us need them. Because we’re both … broken. A little, anyway.
Both the next two ‘St Joseph’s’ they visited seemed implausible. There was a grey Corolla at one, but it had a
different number plate to the one they were searching for.
“The first place we went to is the still the best one we’ve seen. I think
we should go back.”
Cody nodded.
“But before we do….”
“…Yeah?...”
“I’m taking you to a sex shop.”
“What?”
“You want to be able to be fucked again, right?”
“Yeah.” Cody’s eyes were gleaming.
“So we’re going to buy some butt plugs and stuff. A small one, another a bit bigger. So you can get used to it again.”
Cody smiled suddenly, his eyes bright.
“Good idea,” he said. He moved
his hand down to Luigi’s package, and started caressing and squeezing it.
“Are you mad? I’m driving!” But Luigi was grinning.
Tuesday, 24 September 2013
473
“Nao,” he said at last. He was silent for a while. “It sounds loike Oi’m lookin’ ta get the best
of baoth worlds. But Oi can’t make a
promise Oi can’t kaip.”
“What can you promise?”
“That Oi love ya and will go on
lovin’ ya. That aiven if Oi slaip with
other blaokes, Oi won’t slaip with women. Except you. And whatever happens, Oi’m still ya
friend. And we naid friends. More’n anything.”
He was still holding her hands. She said, “We’ll try and see, OK. I can’t make promises I can’t keep either.” She felt his hands tighten then relax, and
his eyes gleamed.
“So would ya loik to, naow?”
“That’s all you’re interested in.”
“I have news for you, sista,
that’s all any man is
interested in.”
“Somewhere out there my prince is
waiting,” said Esmé piously. “Meanwhile, I’ll make do with the pauper. The sex-crazed paper.”
“I can get a pea to put under the
mattress,” offered Keith, his eyes sparkling, struggling to keep his expression
disinterested and professional.
“Your mattress? Huh!
Why bother?”
Labels:
amitié amoureuse,
black and white,
friends with benefits,
het,
I loves ya,
love
Sunday, 8 September 2013
472
At the flat, he looked at her
solemnly for many moments, before taking each of her hands in one of his.
“What Oi said before. I meant it.
Maybe Oi am bad for ya. Oi love
ya, but Oi love Tom too. And … ya kanow
… sometimes Oi’m goingta pick up blaokes at the pub. None of that mains Oi daon’t love ya. Oi do.
But, Ezz, I am gay. That’s what
Oi am. Maybe if Oi hadn’t been on the
straits and had to whore, maybe Oi would never have found out. Ya knaow, lots of the blaokes who hired me,
they were married. Seriously.
“But this is important. Oi’m prolly always going to be gay.”
Esmé shook her head. “First, I think you’re bi, not gay.” She reached down and caressed his cock which
immediately started to swell. “Which
proves my point.” She smiled at
him. “Second, I’ve already said it. You’ve been to hell too. You know the road there. And the road back. “Somebody nice and normal”—she put scorn into
her tone and expression—“someone who hasn’t seen what hell looks like …”
“… the walkin’ wounded?”
It didn’t sound like a cliché
coming from him in his strong ocker accent.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.
Someone who knows what it feels like.
To … you know.”
“Yeah. Oi knaow. But Oi still
think ya naid someone to love who loves just you.”
“Do you want that?” Esmé’s regard was painfully direct.
Keith was tempted to lie and say
yes. Because he truly did think he would
hurt Esmé and he didn’t want to. Maybe
it would make it easier for her—for both of them—if he just forced the decision.
Monday, 13 May 2013
441
Luigi woke first. Cody was lying
facing away from him. Carefully, so as
not to wake the other man, he slipped out from under the covers. As he lifted them off Cody’s body he caught
sight of the small square of flesh cut from the other man’s buttocks. His heart ached inside him. It was clear and visible evidence of how much
Cody had suffered. Luigi had
understood—he had thought that he
understood—what Cody had gone through.
But understanding another’s pain always involves the imagination. We have to somehow get inside the other
person’s head. For the first time,
seeing the physical evidence of the horrors Cody had endured, he really grasped
just how horrible it must have been.
Luigi only realised he was weeping when he felt the tickle of tears on
his cheek. And it came to him all at
once that he might fail; that Cody was too damaged in his heart and soul to
recover, to love again properly, to ever again be happy.
Fuck that! he thought, suddenly
furious. He would do his fucking best.
And he would use Keith and Jason as well. Cody would be surrounded with love. He,
Luigi d’Alardino, would fight. And he would win. He thought then of his grandmother and knew
she would also be an ally. He was not
alone. And Cody wasn’t alone either.
He went through nude into the kitchen and put on the kettle. Tea. And food. They always helped.
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Will post ...
.... another episode of Majorca Flats tonight, Ozzie time.
Meanwhile, since this story is about love in all its guises ....
Meanwhile, since this story is about love in all its guises ....
Monday, 25 March 2013
427
Cody stretched and
yawned, then lifted his head and smiled at Luigi. His face was creased in that way you get when
you have slept deeply, and his eyes, for the first time since Luigi had picked him
up on Mt Macedon, were empty of horror.
Luigi knew that this was just a temporary respite, that the memories and
the blame would return, but he was certain that Cody had passed the turning
point and would get slowly better.
“You didn’t cum,”
Cody said.
“It doesn’t
matter.”
“It does to
me!” And he moved his head down to Luigi’s
groin.
Luigi was
instantly rigid. He remembered 6 o’clock
winter’s evenings, when Cody would come round after work, and they would make
love in the warmth of the tangled sheets, the rain teeming down outside, the
streets wet and reflecting the lights, their bodies fitting together, their
hearts open and filled with love. Except, thought Luigi, bitterness like
vomit in his throat, he went home to Phillippa
afterwards. And lied to her. And to me. He pushed those thoughts out of his head. The two of them were here, now,
together. It might work out. He would try very hard to make sure it worked
out. Because he had promised himself and
the Goddess that he would,
“Is your lube
still here?” asked Cody, reaching for the top drawer of the bedside table.
Luigi nodded.
Episodes 1 to 260 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter
Friday, 22 March 2013
426
Cody drifted into la petite mort, which is what the French
call that sleep after orgasm. The little death. Luigi held him in his arms, his eyes wet, gratitude
in his heart. He didn’t know who to thank. Certainly not God. God had made him what he was, had made him
suffer the pain of being an effeminate gay, of being beaten up, of being
despised and disliked. Or maybe that
was just the Christian God, always angry and judgmental. Richard had believed in The Goddess, a loving
Mother to the world, not nearly so cross and jealous and disapproving. Luigi knew la nonna believed in Her too.
Or at least, she never prayed to Jesus or God but to Mary and the female
saints. Once she had said to Luigi that
Jesus was too busy to care about the problems women faced. But Mary cared because She was a woman. She understood women’s hardships and their
lives. Maybe The Goddess Mother of the
world was Mary and maybe something quite other, but Luigi didn’t care. As superstitious as his Calabrian
forefathers, he knew gratitude was necessary, or your luck could turn. So he thanked The Goddess and promised that
he would look after Cody. And, as an
afterthought, Keith and Jason too. Gently, so as not to wake the sleeping Cody,
he kissed the blond curls on the top of his head and settled in to wait until
Cody woke up.
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