519

“Key, Eleanor—this is Graeme, alias Amantha Masterton and “—he gave Graeme a sly grin— “Endeavour Lambano.  Graeme, you know Keith, and Eleanor is my landlady and friend.”

“Honoured to meet the creator of Lord Balincourt,” exclaimed Eleanor, and Keith gave Graeme a huge smile and said, “Awesome!”

“Would you care for a glass of champagne, Graeme?”

“I’d love some.”

“I put your wine on the sideboard, Key,” said Jason.  “Looks rather nice.”

“I purloined it from The Lord Grey.  Tom won’t mind.”

“What do you write under your Endeavour Lambano pseudonym, Graeme?” asked Eleanor.

Graeme cast a desperate look at Jason, and said, “Um, I write …”

Jason cut across him.  “Scintillating hot gay novels.”

“Romantic, too,” observed Keith.

“So you’re at heart a romantic, Graeme?” asked Eleanor, placidly.

“Yes, I think so.  I believe in love.”

“Me too,” said Eleanor.  “And kindness.  They’re the most important things.”

“Yes,” said Keith.  “Exactly.”  They smiled at each other in perfect understanding.

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Episodes 1 to 500 (without pictures, 20 episodes per chapter)   

490

As they drove down the freeway into the city, Cody spoke, carefully, in a tone calculated not to be aggressive or disagreeable.   “Lou, love, I dunno how homo I am.”

Luigi sighed to himself.  Not this again, he thought.  “Yeah, I know,” he said aloud.  Don’t I just!

“How do your mates Jason and Keith cope?” Cody asked, his voice and his whole demeanour humble.

I don’t want him to be grateful and humble, thought Luigi.  I want him to be confident and strong. Jeez!  I’m so mixed up.  I liked him better when he was arrogant and charming.  What a tool I am! Always looking for a man who’ll do me down and desert me in the end!  Idiot!

“Why don’t we ask them?” he said out loud, trying not to show his disparate feelings.  “They’re nice blokes, Coads.  They’re not afraid to talk about stuff.  Both of them have been through very bad things … and it’s made them … I dunno …. Wiser.  Kinder. Thing is, Coads love, I’m a homo through and through.  There is no way I could get it up with a woman.” Cody put his hand on Luigi’s knee and muttered something.  Luigi ploughed on.  “But Jace and Key?  Well, I think Key is maybe more straight than gay.  He has sex with men because he likes sex.  But also, I think he’s half in love with Jason.  And Jason is still in love with his guy in England who killed himself …” Cody murmured something, but again Luigi overrode it. He wanted to say this.  “… and I think he’s more gay than straight but he has had girlfriends, he said. He likes sex too, but what he wants is … love.  What he had with his guy in England.”

“D’you think he’ll find it?  Again, I mean.”

“I dunno.  He’s very fond of me and Keith.  I dunno that it’s love, though.  What he had with his cricket player was.  It was special.”  Luigi was silent for a while, negotiating a difficult intersection with traffic lights and two tram routes.  “Maybe there is just one or two great loves in your life, Cody.  Maybe all the others are different.  Not that you don’t love them but when you are in love it’s an obsession.  Almost like a mania.  A madness.  A heavenly madness while it lasts, but definitely not completely sane.”

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Episodes 1 to 460 (without pictures, 20 episodes per chapter)  

412

Moonlight Cocktail replaced In The Mood from the band, drifting across the brick walls, muted but still audible. 

“Shall we dance?” asked Keith. He took her into his arms, resting his hand lightly on her back. They revolved slowly around the tiny courtyard in silence.

She felt safe in the cradle of his arms.  He smelt of Brut aftershave; of sweat and day-old shirt; brandy on his breath.  She could feel his erection pressed against her.  It didn’t feel threatening or disagreeable.  It didn’t remind her of her father.  It was … lovely.

When the melody stopped, he held her for a moment longer and took her back to the bench.  Once again they sat at either end.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” he said.

“Don’t be,” she murmured.

“I have no right.”  He was silent while he sipped his brandy.  “I’m poz.”

She knew at once what he was talking about.

“Oh,” she replied in a small voice.  All at once she was overcome with sorrow.  She felt like weeping at the pain of life, at all the horrors and suffering and pain.  Her own pain was lessened.  She rolled back her sleeves, and showed him the scars on her forearms.

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Episodes 1 to 260 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter