“He’s a handsome little fucker, isn’t he?” commented Luigi as they
watched the film. “He looks gay, don’t you
think?”
“Luke Skywalker? You think? I prefer Han Solo. I don’t know.
I can’t tell. Anyway he’s married
with kids.”
“Yeah well. That is
Hollywood. And California. Anything’s possible. Anything’s possible here, too, actually.
Key, when he was on the streets, used to have sex with lots of married
blokes. He says that some of them were
very kind and gentle with him, that what they wanted was more to be loved than
just a fuck. It’s kind of hard isn’t
it? We need both, don’t we, love and
sex? I mean, we’ve both been out there
cruising—whoring—and … well, what were we looking for? Just sex?
Or love? Both? Or something in between? I know I told myself it was sex, but in my
heart, it was love. Or somebody to
cuddle, anyway.”
Cody thought about it. “Mmm,” he
said. “At the time, I just thought of it as sex. It was … well … sex with men was … hot. I loved Phillippa—I still love her—but I just
needed to … no, that’s not true … I could have … anyway, the thing is that I realised
with you that it was something more … that I needed to be loved. It’s a mess. I’m a mess, Lou.”
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