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BTW, one of the characters in the novel is gay-shaded.
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Sunday, 30 September 2012
Luigi put his phone back on the bedside table. Cody had barely stirred from a deep sleep. He didn’t want to wake him, yet he was afraid to let him sleep too long because if he woke late at night he didn’t want him to be alone. Night was the worst, he’d found, after he’d broken up with Cody. At two or three am, the city was mostly asleep, and if there were sounds of revellers on the streets, that had just made him feel more lonely, more lost. Now he’d achieved what he’d longed for: Cody next to him in bed, Cody in his house, Cody sharing his life. Yet it couldn’t have happened in a worse way. Cody was horribly damaged. Luigi’s thoughts paralleled Jason’s, a few kilometres away. He will need my help and support, he thought. After what happened, he may never be right again. But I love him. And if I walk away he won’t survive. I know that. So I have a duty to help him recover, to keep him safe. Whatever happens afterwards.
He leaned over and kissed Cody on his cheek. “Hey, handsome. Would you like some tea?�? Luigi wasn’t very Italian when it came to tea and coffee. In one sense he was: he insisted on excellent coffee, but since he couldn’t make it to his exacting standards at home, he only ever drank coffee at restaurants or cafés. At home he always made tea. He’d been taught how to by Richard, his cello player lover, and the process of making tea always reminded him of learning how to do it in Richard’s beautiful art deco flat.
“Hmm?�? muttered Cody.
“Coads love, how about some tea?�? Luigi kissed Cody again, more a brother’s or a friend’s kiss than a lover’s.
Luigi took that as a yes, and got up.
Cody turned over and watched through half-closed eyes as Luigi walked through to the kitchen, his slim, almost too thin body moving with feline grace, his thong setting off the beautiful curves of his bum and the satisfying sweet swellings of his thighs. Yet to Cody this body, which he had held close as he emptied himself into it, which he’d watched glistening with sweat as he’d fucked it, which he’d seen arch in pleasure as it climaxed; this body seemed to him unreal and unattainable, as far away and hard to reach as happiness or joy. Tea! style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">he thought bitterly. How will that help?
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Jason closed the phone, a half smile curling his lips. He felt much better.
He’d known from all the preparations that his grandmother and Eleanor half expected his friends to join them for the “party". If they’d been other than who they were, he’d have resented the assumption. But they’d been careful not to make their expectations explicit, so he forgave them. In any case, he was very fond of them both. And having Luigi and Cody there would leaven the mix. Even better, he could watch them and help Luigi get Cody through the horrors he’d been subjected to. When he thought about it, he found himself unable to imagine, really, what it must be like to be raped, cut and humiliated, knowing all the time that he was going to die horribly. I must make allowances, he thought.
He went into the kitchen. “Is it OK if Luigi and Cody join us for the party?" he asked the two women as they tidied the kitchen.
“Oh, that would be lovely!" said Eleanor.
His grandmother said, “It’s always such a pleasure to have friends over and break bread like in the Bible or is it somewhere else I can’t remember it’s supposed to be the earliest form of sharing with even young children doing it is it the Good Samaritan or which story really sometimes I feel quite senile."
“Never that, grandam! Your mind is as sharp as ever."
That’s all very well, thought Lucasta, but I do worry about you my dear and Brent and so much loss and unhappiness and I would be very glad if you found a nice young man to love or even two nice young men and never mind what your ninniebarn of a mother thinks all the brains of an earwig.
“Around seven o’clock?"
“That would be very nice," said Eleanor, also wondering why Jason had looked so down when he’d come home and looked better now. She wondered whether Keith would be coming too and then remembered that he’d be working.
Posted by Nikolaos at 22:52
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Jason went to his room and flung himself down on the bed. He contemplated the ceiling gloomily. He’d been so sure he was loved. The hole which Brent’s suicide had left in his heart—in his life—hadn’t filled. And yet, his pain has lessened. And the reason for that was because he was loved. Or so he’d thought. On impulse, he opened his phone and dialled Luigi’s number.
Luigi and Cody were both deeply asleep, worn out not just by lack of sleep the night before, but also by emotional exhaustion. They’d never slept for a long time in the same bed together. Cody’s need to get back to his wife had always prevented that. Now, like two small children lost in the forest, they clung to each other, finding in each other’s warmth a safe haven, a place where for a while they could be safe. The insistent ringing eventually dragged Luigi from his drugged sleep.
“Oh! Sorry. I didn’t think you’d be asleep. I’ll ring back later."
“No, it’s OK." Luigi wet his mouth. It tasted like the bottom of a parrot’s cage. And he hadn’t even been drinking.
“I just thought … I wondered how you were. You and Cody."
“OK, so far."
“Would you like to come round and join us? My grandam is giving a party. Lots of good champagne. Cheese straws. Sundry savoury nibblies." Jason had seen the packets of chips on the kitchen counter.
“Cheese straws! Hell, an irresistible offer! When?"
“About seven. That gives you an hour or so to primp and perk. Oh! I’ve just thought. Will Cody be OK with us? I mean …"
“Yeah. I think so." Better than he’d be with me alone, Luigi thought.
Posted by Nikolaos at 18:32
Saturday, 22 September 2012
The tram ride back to Majorca Flats gave Jason time to think. Despite the love that Keith had shown him, he still didn’t feel secure. And Keith’s statements about living in the now somehow didn’t help. All right, so Keith loved him now. But what about next year? Ten years’ time? What then?
At Majorca Flats, Bolt’s enthusiastic welcome cheered him up. The hall was redolent with the smell of cooking. He found his grandmother and Eleanor in the kitchen busy preparing stuff for the “party�?.
“Do I smell cheese straws?�? he asked, trying to put his depressed mood to one side.
“You do!�? Eleanor smiled.
“I know you like them,�? said Lucasta, “and so delicious and savoury with champagne don’t you think whereas sweet stuff spoils the taste which would be a pity.�?
She thought that Jason looked a little down-mouthed and wondered what was wrong. She’d expected him to come back from his love session with Keith in a good mood. But the young were always so intense, living life to the full but also feeling its down drafts more deeply too. Perhaps they had quarrelled. She wanted to ask whether his friends would be joining them at the party, but it seemed intrusive.
Posted by Nikolaos at 11:18
Monday, 17 September 2012
|Dan Skinner's deviantart page|
They dozed a little in the late afternoon autumn warmth.
At last, Keith lifted Jason’s head off his cheat and kissed him gently. “Oi’ve got to go’nd work.�?
“You sure you’ll be OK? I could come in for a bit.�?
“Naoh. Oi’ll be foin. It’ll be just loik the old days before ya turned up loik a bad fart on the doorstep lookin’ lost as.�?
“What on earth do you mean?�? asked Jason, grabbing Keith’s arms and staring at him in pretend indignation. “Me? Lost?�?
“Don’t play the Mr Macho with me, straightboy! Yeah, you did. You looked so sad and heartsore and desperate.�?
“So why did you bother being so nice to me?�?
“Jeyz, Jace, because ya’re such a fucking stud. And this was so beaut,�? and he clutched Jason’s package.
“Of course! Now why didn’t I think of that? Softie! Hey, do you want to come round afterwards. I’ll wait up for you.�?
“Naow. Can’t. I’m meytin’ Esmé.�?
Jason felt his heart twist. “All right,�? he said, trying very hard not to show his pain.
Keith kissed him on his forehead. “Shey’s moi friend too, ya knaow. And ya’ve had me all las’ noight an’ all day today. Fair’s fair.�?
“Yeah. I know! Have a good time with her.�?
Posted by Nikolaos at 10:25