464

“Ah.”  Keith tensed but he didn’t let go of her hand.  “I knaow I’m a bit of a slut, Ezz.  Oi … Oi’m gay, maostly.  Ya knaow that.”

“Yeah.  I know.  I’m just being silly.”

“Nao, not silly.  But just because Oi pick up a blaoke an’ we do the daid doesn’t mean I love him.  That Oi’m his friend.”

“You love Tom.”

“Yeah.  But Tom took me off the straits.  He saved me. He saved moi loife.  And yeah, we fuck. Nao.  Oi’m wrong.  We make love.  Loik you and Oi do.”

Esmé didn’t speak.

“Moi mum and dad were the one-marriage toipe.  Ya knaow, faithful until daith.  But they didn’t love each other.”

“My parents didn’t either.  I think mum was in love with dad.  But she was so frightened of him.  And he didn’t love her.  He was a narcissist.”

“Your dad was a cunting prick and I hope every minute of his loife is a torment and agony.  But that’s not the point, Ezz.  You can have the form of the ideal, marriage.  But maybai not the reality.  What matters is that ya love each other.”

“And do you?”

“Of course.  I love you and I love Tom.”

“You love Tom more.”

“Daon’t torment yaself, Ezz.”

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Episodes 1 to 380 (without pictures, 20 episodes per chapter) 

460

Esmé and Keith met again that night, after the café and the bar had closed.  They went back to his flat and made love.  And again the night after.  But the night after that, Esmé wasn’t working.  She wished she worked every night at the café, so that she could meet Keith every night.  She knew she shouldn’t monopolise him but she couldn’t help herself.  He made her happy.  She knew somewhere inside that he was gay.  But he was so loving to her that she thought he’d changed, that he loved her so much that he’d set aside his gayness to be with her.  That he was no longer interested in men. 

Even though she wasn’t working, she decided she’d go down to the bar and surprise him.   She normally cycled to work, but she decided to take the tram.  It took her a little longer than she’d thought.  As she stepped down from the tram at the stop just before The Lord Grey, she caught sight of Keith.  He had his back to her.  He was pressed up against another man, kissing him, his hands gripping the other bloke’s buttocks, his groin grinding against the other man’s. 

She turned quickly and walked away from the bar.  She didn’t want Keith to see her shame.  Her humiliation was complete.

She caught the tram home and let herself in as quietly as she could.  She did not want Luke to see her like this.  In the privacy of her room, she took the razor and cut deeply into her arms.  Stupid!  she said to herself, angry, as she did it.  Stupid!  You knew you could never be happy.  You knew that it would all be taken from you.  You knew that.  But still you hoped.  Fool!  Cretin!  Idiot!

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Episodes 1 to 260 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter  

Majorca Flats -344

Luigi reached over and wiped away Cody's tears with his thumbs.

“It's not easy, Coads. We're gay or bi or … different. People don't approve. They think we're wrong or evil or perverted. And it makes it hard. And we … well, sometimes. Some of us. We have … we see … fidelity differently to everybody else, too. We … fuck each other. But it's not like we're being unfaithful to each other. We … if we … look, love, it's wrong to deceive or lie or cheat … but Keith knows about Jason and Jason knows about Keith and, you know something? I reckon Tom knows about Keith and me and Jace.�?

“Don't you get jealous?�?

“Yeah. Sometimes. But … what's important is that we're friends. We love each other, in our own way. We … care. I know it sounds weird to you. But … we're a sort of family.�?

“I wish …�?

“What?�?

“I dunno.�? Cody shook his head and looked away.

“We'll try and work it out, Coads. We will. Because that's what you do with people you love.�?

“Do you love me?�?

“Yes.�?

“I love you too, Lou. More than you can know.�?

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Episodes 1 to 260 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)

Majorca Flats -- 305

With leaden footsteps, Cody trudged up to the front door. Phillippa was waiting. Cody tried to kiss her and she pushed him away.

“What happened?" she asked.

Cody just shook his head, too tired and dispirited to explain.

Phillippa took his arm and shook him. “Tell me!"

“I was at a bar, and this guy picked me up and ... "

“... picked you up? What exactly do you mean?"

Cody sighed. Unable to meet his wife's eyes he looked away. At last he said, “I … I'm bi."

There was a long silence. Cody dared to look at Philippa. She was crying. He started to weep too.

The silence stretched. At last, she said, “You'd better go."

Sick with guilt, heartsore, filled with a black depression, Cody didn't argue. Without another word, he turned around and went outside. He closed the door quietly, and stood for a moment gathering his courage.

Well, that's that, he thought to himself. It's over.

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Episodes 1 to 260 (without pictures, 10 episodes per chapter)