488

Shaken by his insights, Luigi was silent until they got to their next destination.  Jason isn’t like that, he mused.  And Keith isn’t.  They are glad to be what they are.  Glad to be gay.  Well, Keith was bi, but that wasn’t because he was ashamed of being gay.  It was simply because he was attracted, well attracted to Esmé anyway.   I mustn’t lose them.  Both of us need them.  Because we’re both … broken.  A little, anyway.

Both the next two ‘St Joseph’s’ they visited seemed implausible.  There was a grey Corolla at one, but it had a different number plate to the one they were searching for.

“The first place we went to is the still the best one we’ve seen. I think we should go back.”

Cody nodded.

“But before we do….”

“…Yeah?...”

“I’m taking you to a sex shop.”

“What?”

“You want to be able to be fucked again, right?”

“Yeah.”  Cody’s eyes were gleaming.

“So we’re going to buy some butt plugs and stuff.  A small one, another a bit bigger.  So you can get used to it again.”

Cody smiled suddenly, his eyes bright.  “Good idea,” he said.  He moved his hand down to Luigi’s package, and started caressing and squeezing it.

“Are you mad?  I’m driving!”  But Luigi was grinning.

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453

When Jason got there, The Lord Grey was busy, as it almost always was at that time of the evening.  He started work immediately. 

In a lull, he and Keith rested on the counter, side by side, their bodies touching.  It was comforting to be close to each other, a natural intimacy and companionship.

“D’ya think Cody and Lou will work it out?” asked Keith.

“I dunno.  Cody is bi.  He’ll need women.  Or anyway, lust after them.”

“Well, I like women too.  I dunno.  I kinda think that if my dad hadn’t chucked me out, I’d still be there, straight.”

“I thought he threw you out because you were gay?” asked Jason, close enough to Keith to feel the warmth of his body, to smell his body, fresh and older sweat after a day of work, Keith’s own essence.  Being there with him at that time seemed exactly right.  Perfect. 

“There is that,” conceded Keith.

Their conversation was interrupted by several blokes coming up at the same time to the bar for drinks.  Jason wondered why it always happened like that, like starlings or pigeons.

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444

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe go to the Healesville sanctuary wildlife park.  Grandam hasn’t seen kangaroos.”

“Or platypuses. They have a huge pond with glass walls so you can see them swimming underwater.”

“Sounds cool.”

“Do you know how to get there?”

“No, but I ‘spect Eleanor does.  But maybe grandam is still too tired for an outing.”

“Well, you could drive to the Dandenongs.  They’re before Healesville, and they’re beautiful.  ‘Specially at this time of the year.”

“I’ll talk to them.  See what they suggest.  Will you need me at the pub tonight?”

“It would be handy between 9 and 11.  You knaow how busy it gets then.”

“OK.  I’ll see you at nine.”

“Noine it is.”  

He kissed Jason again, with tongue.  They drew apart, both of them aroused.  They simultaneously grinned in sheer delight.

“And of course, you’ll come back here afterwards.”  Jason’s eyes glinted.

“Naow.  I think I’ll laive ya to stew!” 

“A sadist as well as a perve,” mocked Jason. 

“That’s me,” agreed Keith placidly and went off to say goodbye to Lucasta and Eleanor.

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430

Cody turned to look at him at last.

“It will never go away, will it?  I’ll always bear the scars, won’t I?”

“About the sex, well, we can try a series of butt plugs starting at small and working up.  To huge if you want.  They’re hot anyway, even if you aren’t using them to get used to … you know.  About the mental scars …. Well, they heal better than physical ones, I think.  If you have people who love you, who help you forget …”

“ … never.  I’ll never forget!”

“No, prolly not.  But … Coads love, it … we …. all have bad memories.  And we keep going.  We do.  One foot in front of the other.  And if we can find someone to love, someone who loves us … we … we recover.  Slowly.  We get better.  The scars hurt less and less until there are just twinges.”

“How do you know this?”

Luigi told him.

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Majorca Flats -- 356

After, Jason lay with his head on Keith's chest.

“How straight are you, Key?�?

“Haven't we just shown that?�?

“Well, before Brent, I had girlfriends. And it was good. But not as good as it was with him. With him—with you and Lou—it feels right. I mean, I s'pose I could have got married and stuff. And been faithful to my wife. But this feels … like it was meant to be.�?

Keith tangled his fingers in Jason's hair. “Yeah. I know what ya meyn. If hadn't had to live on the streyt, then maybe … but, ya knaow, I can't imagine a life without you or Lou. Or Tom.�?

“So did you become gay? If you hadn't had to … �?

“ …. whore? … �?

“... I wasn't going to say that.�?

“But it's true. I'm not ashamed of it. There are much worse thengs.�? Keith was silent for a few breaths. “Selfishness. Cruelty. Lies. But to get back to gayness and such, Oi dunno, to bey honest. Oi reckon … fuck, Jace, Oi dunno. Oi reckon that with the roight person at the roight time I would've found out anyway.�?

“Yeah?�?

“Oi think lots and lots a' blaokes are … not gay … but capable of lovin' another blaoke. But they never foind out. And when they feyl attracted to a blaoke they think it's jus' friendship. And it is. And it's more that friendship too.�?

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Majorca Flats

I'm busy writing some more episodes, but I have been so busy with work work (the kind which pays the bills, as contrasted with my writing, which pays a third of nothing) that I have had very little opportunity to write.  Anyway, while you're waiting (and I promise an episode tomorrow!) you might like this.  Keith (dark hair) and Jason (blond) perhaps?  Though Keith isn't as buff and ripped as this bloke:  his beauty lies inside him, in his heart and soul.