Cody hadn’t said anything through all
this. Jason looked over at him sitting
next to Luigi and said, “Enough about me.
How’re you, Cody?”
Cody was startled out of his
thoughts. He’d been far away, worrying
again about Philippa and Luigi and their relationships. He ducked his head, shy with Jason, who
seemed to him to have everything: a beaut body; a handsome face; wealth;
confidence; charm; and now, to crown it all, a title. What he really felt was anger and jealousy,
and it didn’t help that he found Jason attractive or that Luigi had had sex
with him.
“Oh.
OK.” Cody thought that if he said
this strongly enough, they would believe him.
But the truth was, he was far from all right.
Jason looked at him and gave him a
smile of great sweetness and Cody felt ashamed of his hostility but also
paradoxically, even angrier. How dare
Jason also be charming! On top of
everything! It was so fucking unfair. What made it worse was that he couldn’t
get up and walk out. He had nowhere to
go. Luigi was friends with Jason, but he himself had no home to go to. On top of that, he might yet lose his
job. And then where would he live, without
money, without a job? And always, there was the fear that the killer would find
him again and this time, finish the job.