Cody slipped a
cock jacket onto Luigi’s boner and kissed it again. He slathered it generously with lube and then
lowered himself onto it, his head thrown back, his gaze on the ceiling. Luigi loved the tight warmth of Cody’s
body. He’d always loved it, from their
first time. And it had always pleased
him that Cody was prepared to let Luigi fuck him. Luigi was used to straight-acting men who
were of the opinion that bottoming was proof that you weren’t a real man. With them, Luigi was always the one who had
to act the “woman’s part”. He didn’t
mind the bottoming—he liked that. But he
realised now how much he hated the implicit assumptions behind it. “The
passive partner” Fuck that! What he liked about bottoming was the
pleasure he brought to the man who was fucking him, even more than the pleasure
he got himself. He loved tightening his
arse at just the right moment, pushing his partner over the edge, watching his
eyes darken as he came.
And all at once he knew that that was part of
what drew him to Jason and Keith, that even when they were role-playing in bed,
it wasn’t about some kind of poisonous self-hating internalised homophobia. It was about love. Maybe not la
grande passion. Not ‘in love’. But a sort of fierce affection and
friendship. All the clichés of modern
society were about love, het love, wedding dresses and rings and bridal
showers. But the love they had for each other was much more
substantial. It was a love which was
neither blind nor self-deceiving but still intense and profound.
He wasn’t sure
about what he had with Cody, though. He
had been in love with Cody. But were
they really friends? Did they really
trust and accept each other? Would their
love survive the loss of passion?
Luigi’s relationship with Richard had been passionless. They had comfort fucks once or twice a
week. But they had all the same loved
each other genuinely and totally, and though Luigi had often lusted after
strange men, because he’d felt the absence of passion, towards the end, when
Richard and he had become a couple, he’d not indulged his desires. After Richard had died he’d gone back to the
hunt, lust—and, now, he acknowledged to himself—also the need to connect
driving him to the ultimately empty, sometimes dangerous, pursuit of a chimera.
Never again, he swore. I have
Keith and Jason and, Goddess willing, Cody too.
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