Cody hadn’t said anything through all this. Jason looked over at him sitting next to Luigi and said, “Enough about me. How’re you, Cody?”
Cody was startled out of his thoughts. He’d been far away, worrying again about Philippa and Luigi and their relationships. He ducked his head, shy with Jason, who seemed to him to have everything: a beaut body; a handsome face; wealth; confidence; charm; and now, to crown it all, a title. What he really felt was anger and jealousy, and it didn’t help that he found Jason attractive or that Luigi had had sex with him.
“Oh. OK.” Cody thought that if he said this strongly enough, they would believe him. But the truth was, he was far from all right.
Jason looked at him and gave him a smile of great sweetness and Cody felt ashamed of his hostility but also paradoxically, even angrier. How dare Jason also be charming! On top of everything! It was so fucking unfair. What made it worse was that he couldn’t get up and walk out. He had nowhere to go. Luigi was friends with Jason, but he himself had no home to go to. On top of that, he might yet lose his job. And then where would he live, without money, without a job? And always, there was the fear that the killer would find him again and this time, finish the job.